It seems like such a simple thing, right? But I was too caught up in my memories of having fun and my wild expectations that it would magically become fun again. Me being stressed and unhappy was making all my friends stressed and unhappy, and eventually I realized that I wasn’t really thinking of them as friends anymore so much as I was thinking of them as bullies.
I spent a while thinking that I just wouldn’t talk to anyone about my characters and ideas and played almost exclusively with the couple of people who I knew wouldn’t jump down my throat, but the RPs were still public to everyone in the group who wanted to read them, so it didn’t really resolve anything. Eventually I decided to just go on total hiatus and give myself six months completely away from the place. My six months ended, and I didn’t feel like I wanted to go back. I’m a little regretful sometimes thinking about all the relationships and plots that were abandoned, but there’s really no way I could justify going back to that environment, I’m so much more relaxed and happy with all that behind me.
If you’ve ever have the thought “maybe I should just quit,” please stop and take a minute to evaluate why you feel that way. RP is a hobby and a way to unwind - if you spend more time stressed out and angry and upset than you spend enjoying yourself and having fun, trust me, it isn’t worth sticking through it on the blind hope that things will eventually get better. You don’t deserve to live your life feeling that way because of a hobby.
Reblogging because not all that long ago, I had to make this choice regarding an RP that I was doing. I loved the character I played, and I loved the group, and the game was fun…some of the time.
But I was starting to feeling upset and stressed out before the game even started, I was starting to feel like the people I thought of as friends just sort of looked at me as someone there, and it didn’t matter to them if I was hurting or upset. A very old friend was the one running the group, and when I said I was quitting he asked why and I explained that I was going in stressed and angry and that he deserved better and the rest of the gamers deserved better.
He responded by telling me it was the environment (it was Werewolf the Apocalypse, and I guess he thought I couldn’t handle horror), and when I pointed out that him implying I couldn’t handle the environment of the game was offensive, it resulted in a break in friendship that still hasn’t healed, and frankly, I don’t think it will.
Fact is, I think it was easier for him to lay the blame of me leaving on me being unable to handle a horror environment…than to admit that he and the other DM might have caused situations that made the group in general not fun and overly stressful to someone who has enough stress and responsibilities as it is.